Thursday, May 12, 2011
The Hard Reset
Sometimes when the icebergs are being dicks and swallowing up everything so you can hardly get out of the house and all the buildings in all the cities in all the world have become Chick-Fil-A's, it is necessary to do a hard reset of the universe by opening the windows and playing this song very loud.
I must have had to do six such resets in the last four years or so and, what's worse, they're coming closer and closer together as the problem accelerates.
It used to be that, when you did a Queen Bitch Reset, you could go a few months before even a single Chick-Fil-A showed up, uninvited, and the icebergs started to creep into the streets and parking lots and shopping centers and bedrooms. Now, even though I just reset the universe a few hours ago, there are already literally thousands of Chick-Fil-A's clogging up the cities and towns.
Maybe I need bigger speakers or something; I dunno. Hopefully, we have our best David Bowie scientists working on this problem even now. Hopefully they remember the problem from when I reset the universe earlier. Hard to say.
Anyway, word to the wise.