Wolf Moon To Oak Moon, 2013

Go Fuck A Robot 2012

Please to enjoy this ten track playlist, curated by me, for all of your robot seduction and digital romance needs:

 

Go Fuck A Robot 2012 from jeff.nielsen1 on 8tracks Radio.

Arguing In Favor Of the World's Continuing Existence

Pour Me Another Glass Of This, Please

Take Two Of These And Call Me In The Morning

The Date Rapiest Xmas Song

For Yog Sothoth And Teenage Girls, The End Of The World And Puberty Really Aren't So Different

Metaphors Can Be A Bitch

Squinting Westward At The Sunset

Quite Against My Expectations, I Keep Coming Back To This Song And Liking It More:

THIS! A Thousand Times, THIS!

In Which Chazwick Bundick Makes Moneyed And Hot-Girlfriended Ennui Seem Pretty Great

It Seems Weird To Me How A Mashup Of So Much Music I Don't Like Can So Restore My Faith In Humanity

I Think 'Being Awesome' Really Might Cover It, Actually

The Electropop Childhood's End Ends:

When You Autotune Something Great, It Just Gets Greater

Performed In The Style Of:

What I'll Be Playing On My Yacht All Winter:

The Possible Apotheosis Of White Girling

Like Looking At The Back Of Your Eyeball, Only Much Much Cooler

Is It Weird That I JUST Realized That Dubstep Dancing Is Just Cool Miming?

Be Thankful For This (Because This Is Wonderful)

Basically, This Is The Prettiest Argument For Hobbesianism

Some Musings On Yo La Tengo

1. I believe that, had Yo La Tengo been stationed on this rooftop playing this song just prior to Hurricane Sandy making landfall, the storm would have simply stopped spinning and fallen lifeless into the sea.

2. I believe it is possible that what Ira is doing here with this guitar could be considered a breach of his marital vows.

3. Perhaps you need a palate cleanser after you were so thoroughly undone by that last song:

The VHS Is A Lonely Hunter

Emotional Cataracts

Who Needs An Audience When You've Got Townes Van Zandt?

Full Fathom Five

I Never Feel Guilty About Pleasures

This Kid Needs A Babysitter

Let's All Fly Coach With Michelle Williams

The Electric Ennui Of The Chanel Set

Would You Like To Watch A Ten Minute H&M Commercial With A Cool Song Buried Inside?

Like A Claymation Neil Diamond For Our Generation

Mobilis In Mobili

Haters Gonna Hate

10-11-12

Just In Time For Halloween!

The Eternally Inchoate Summer

Bring Back Summer; I Wasn't Finished

The Quotidian Posings Of One Solange Knowles, Capetown, South Africa 2012

They Shoot Ice Skaters, Don't They?

Let's Say You Like Katy Perry But Would Prefer That She Were A Twin Sister Act From Canada

The Crimson And Clover Riff In The Temple Of Vesta

Basically The Coda From 2001, But With Harmonies

By The River Shoegaze, We Sat Down And Wept

On The Feast Of The Lupercal

The Cabala Of John Mayer?

Worse Than Fracking

Eros

Californians Never Call It "Cali" (But Still)

I Approve This Message

Alright Australia, Alright Heineken, You Win

Stop Making Beautiful Sense Together

In The Grand Tradition Of Synthy Odes To Nations Coded As Exotique

No Other Artist So Blurs The Line Between Musical Performance And Magical Ceremony

Basically It's A Space Elevator Designed By Hugh Hefner

Urban Lights, Peaking Outfitters

21st Century Elfmusic

About 40% Of My Dreams Are Exactly Like This

The Voice Liked Carved Steam And Some Very Cool Wallpaper

Feist: Anti-Pioneer on Nowness.com.

Tom Waits Fucks The War

The Powerstance Of A Boozy Summertime

Summertime, Solo Cups, Universal Truths

Seems Like A Good Nightclub, Right?

A Poser (Not a Poseur)

Trust Falls And Other Modern Myths

Summers Metaphorical

Is It Daytime? Are You Near A Pool? Is Anyone Wearing A White Bikini?

Hey Dan, Your Pretty Girl May Be On Fire Or Something

Still Great, Still Perfect For Nighttime On Water

Hawaii, It Don't Suck

7th Avenue Film Series # 2-8

Videos Don't Awesome Themselves

For The First American Woman In Space

7th Avenue Film Series # 2-7

Video Telephone (Is Such A Good Idea!)

I Wish This Was More Like Warriors

Need Something To Listen To While Wearing A Suit?

Play It Like A Plumber In A Leotard

A Love Letter from Autumn To Summer

This Is Why One Should Always Keep A Couple Of Googly Eyes In One's Pocket

Are You Now Or Have You Ever Been A Member Of The Société Des Flâneurs?

You Can Tell By Looking At Him

Thank You For Being A Superfriend

Imagine If The Overlook Hotel Was Haunted By Best Men From Weddings Held There

The .Gif Quest Of Unknown Kadath

7th Avenue Film Series # 2-6

You're Edward Kelley, She's Madimi

A Conversation Between Myself And Two Small Children At A Fourth Of July BBQ

Small Child # 1: "What are you drinking?"

Me: "Campari and Orange Juice."

Small Child # 1: "Is Campari alcohol?"

Me: "It is; it's a kind of Italian bitters."

Small Child # 1: "Is the orange juice because it tastes bad without it?"

Me: "I wouldn't say bad, but it's kind of bitter and the orange juice is kinda sweet, and it's, like a lot of things, kind of an acquired taste, so."

Small Child # 2: "My dad eats bad dreams!"

Me: "Your dad eats bad dreams? what is he, some kind of psychic vampire? that's terrifying."

Small Child # 2: "He eats bad dreams and then he eats alcohol!"

Small Child # 1: "You can't eat alcohol, not unless you freeze it or something."

Me: "Or make it into jello, I guess."

Small Child # 1: "And anyway, nobody drinks just alcohol."

Me: "Sure they do. I do."

Small Child # 1: "But I heard alcohol is poison."

Me: "Well, yeah, it is. That's sorta how it works, actually."

Small Child # 1 (with incredulous look on his face): "So it's a poison? That makes you feel happy."

Me: " . . . That's . . . well, actually that's exactly what it is, yes."

Small Child # 2: "My dad eats bad dreams and alcohol and then he turns it into jello and puts it in his hair and then he eats his hair!"

Me: "Your dad may have an eating disorder called 'Pica'"

Small Child # 2: "And he's SO STINKY!!"

Me: "It's hardly surprising, considering his diet."

Watermelon Disappointment Sounds Like A Progrock Band

Grocery Store - Interior - Day - The Fourth of July

Cashier: "Picking up a watermelon for the big BBQ, huh?"

Me: "Yup. I hope it turns out to be a good one. I don't really know what I'm doing, picking out watermelons; I just sort of slap them and listen to the sound for some reason. I don't even know what I'm listening for."

Cashier: "Looks like a good one to me!"

Me: "So watermelons come from the Sahara Desert. They grew naturally around oases, buried in the sand. Arab traders used to gather them up and load their saddle bags up with them to take across the desert. Isn't that wonderful?"

Cashier: "Noooooooo, it isn't!"

Realize Some Things All Over Again

In Which Florence And The Machine Instagram Their Way From Los Angeles To Las Vegas To New Orleans And All Is Delightful

Though The Video Won't Tell You So, This Is The Greatest Ever Song To Accompany Floating Down A River At Night In An Innertube

7th Avenue Film Series # 2-5

Objectify The Summer

This Is The Only Video You Will Ever Need From Now On

Sometimes You Get The Greens

Hey Jesus, Look Over Here!

I'm Calling Wednesday Off, You Guys

7th Avenue Film Series # 2-4

When some rare Chicago blood starts spilling in San Francisco, they hand Bullitt the mop.

The Most Macabre Thing In This Video Is The English Summer

When You're A Ted . . .

You Wouldn't Think A Small Child Would Do Such A Good Alejandra Dehaza Impression, But . . .

I Agree With You, Beth, But The Thing Is:

Sometimes you take a job in another state because you thought it would be best for you and would be temporary or whatever and then you buy a house because you thought it would be an investment but then the job goes pear-shaped and the economy collapses and you can't sell your house without losing a ridiculous amount of money and then you get a job as a professor and you really like it so it seems crazy to throw that away but still you feel like a man out of place in his own life a lot of the time.

7th Avenue Film Series # 2-3

Get that Cat Out Of Here.
 

The Mythic Spencer Krug

Silhouette Projection

7th Avenue Film Series # 2-2

Your Good Friend TRON Is Having A Dance Party

Zuul Doesn't Seem Like Such A Bad Guy To Me

Neil DeGrasse Tyson For President Of Earth, Please

Lootcake!

Simple Videos Are The Best Videos

7th Avenue Film Series # 2-1

Let's save Latin together, shall we?

Never Underestimate The Power Of A Good Haircut

No Horrible Fear Monster Every Deserved This More (The Idiot)

When You Say "Swamp People" This Is What I'm Thinking Of

It's Like A Late Night DRIVE to Chokhmah

Suburban Alchemy 101

Help Me To Name It

Still A Pretty Successful First Date In My Book

Tension! Thrills! A Likeable Hero!

This is the most exciting movie I've seen all year. Let's just watch this forever, shall we?

This Would Sound Even Better On The Moon

Watch These Overgrown Jawas Blunder Around The Mojave

Just Like The TV Show Friends But, You Know, Good

The Church Of Man Love Is Such A Holy Place To Be

Imagine This Is Your First Time Seeing Pretty Woman. And Also That You Are On Acid.

Pizza Party? (Pizza Party)

Well THAT Certainly Hit The Spot!

The Saturn Return Isn't Always A Bitch

Ajna Going To Congratulate Me On This Pun?

I Prefer My Weezy With An Esau Mwamwaya Glaze, If You Please

The Happiest Day Of My Life

So yesterday I'm walking across campus and I'm sort of not paying attention and I must have veered slightly to the left or something and I collided with the unicyclist who was just then passing me from behind, causing him to bobble and fall over.

This was the greatest thing that has happened to me in YEARS.

The Lawnmower Man Throws Great Houseparties

The Chiara Heresies VII

I come into the kitchen to find Chiara staring intently at several photos on facebook of a rather nondescript looking priest.

"I went to school with this guy," she says with a hint of wonder and confusion.

"And now he's a priest?" I ask.

"Well," she says, "he always was weird."

Dominatrixes Are People, Too (Even When They Ruin Perfectly Good Corduroy Jackets)

I Wish I Got Invited To Girls' Night Parties Like This

Oh My God, You Guys: CAINE'S ARCADE!! Caine's DAD!! The FUN PASS!!

i still hate flash mobs, but this video is glorious:

I Guess I Don't See Why Not

You And Me Can Minaj Friday

How Is Anyone Supposed To Gaze At Their Shoes In All That Dust?

April Fish Day

Oh, Yoko . . .

The Greatest Human Activity (Nightswimming) Is Subject Of Music Video

Today In Attractive Women With Bangs:

Let's Say You Have A Hot Date With A Tandy 9000 And You Want Just The Perfect Song To Be Playing When You Pick Her Up On Your Hoverboard . . .

We Are The Music Makers, And We Are The Dreamers Of Dreams

I See No Reason Not To Burn Down The Mission

Let's Imagine That, In Ghostbusters 2, Instead Of Trying To Bring A Carpathian Warlord Through A Rend In Spacetime, You Tried To Bring Through All Of The Shiny Lycra Leggings Of The 1980s

Set Your Makeout Machines To "In A Canoe At Night On A Quiet Lake"

Aside From Whatever It Is About His Mouth, This Is A Charming Video

I Can Get Your Station When I Need Rejuvenation

Neil DeGrasse Tyson, FTW (As Usual)

Follow Me Into The (Windows '95) Donut, Won't You?

Let's Throw A (Great) Party!

Choose Your Own Adventure With Caroline Polachek

Choose HERE.

James Mercer Invites You To Go Wes Andersoning

The Walking Dead Is Boring And Poorly Written; THIS Is The Only Grimes You Need:

I Just Think All Their Videos Should Be Of People Nightswimming

This Is The Guiltiest I've Ever Felt For Not Completing My Novel

Bonnie Bear (Wink!) Videos Are To Solitude What The-Dream Videos Are To Blurred Out Logos On Hats

Great Synthpop Song Gets Unwatchable Synthpop Video

Well. The guy in the synthpop ghillie suit is pretty watchable. (2012: year of the ghillie suit!) 

Oscillating Between ????? And !!!!!

Basically It's Like A Shoegaze Lavalamp

Beirut Manage To Create Most Beruitish Video Imaginable

If You Can Make It Through The Part That Sounds Like Nothing So Much As The Alien Probe That Wants To Talk To The Whales In Star Trek IV

you're in for a really beautiful treat. PROMISE.

Meanwhile, Back In The Universe Wherein The Drive Soundtrack Is Infinite And Always On All Of The Radios:

May I Interest You In Some Horrifying Toy Necromancy?

May I Interest You In A Video About Arm Tracers?

Of Balaclavas And Ghillie Suits And Antennas Extending

In The Alternate Universe In Which The Drive Soundtrack Is Infinite

THIS would definitely be on the infinite Drive soundtrack, right?

Annie Clark Cum Ron Mueck

Would Have Been Better Two Years Ago

The Enormity Of Their Flat Brain

Aubrey Plaza Continues To Fulfill Her Mystical Duty To Be The Dark Zooey Deschanel

M.I.A. Being Fun Again Is Really A Lot Of Fun, You Guys

Thunder Strike, Indeed

Sunglasses!

Don Cornelius Wasn't Necessarily A Very Good Person, But Soul Train Was The Best

and Soul Train was Don Cornelius.

So. Life continues to be complicated.

Happy Candlemas 2012!

so, you know, light some candles and THIS or something: