Dogs! Also: Sweaters!

Time For Our Monkey Bath!

Nothing About This Video Makes Sense (Except Everything)

All you had to say was "Bossa Nova!"

Gorilla Bath Time!

Forget It, Jeff; It's Metaphor Town

Owls Can Be Creepy AND Cute

Look, the world is a complicated place. Things can simultaneously be a thing and that thing's opposite.

For example, owls are creepy. Owls are definitely waiting outside your home for you to die just so they can be the last thing you ever see. Owls get off on shit like that. Owls are creepy dicks.

On the other hand, this little barn owl is adorable and I want it RIGHT NOW.

Even if I am sure that it would eat my soul if it had half a chance.

The Photobomb Fish

Kiwi Hates Lime

The Mariachi Band/Beluga Perpetual Emotion Machine

Whales, Speedos Saved

This Duckling Is Obviously Not A Republican

This Dog Gets Tickled Like A BOSS

Zola, The Breakdancing Gorilla

El Willy, The Salsa Dog

It's The Weekend; Catnip For Everyone!

Oprah: Still THE WORST

Chiara informs me that, on Oprah, a man who worked for the show was asked how working on the show had changed him.

His response was, apparently, that he began to use the word "cute" and that straight men do not otherwise employ this adjective.

Of course we don't.

When i see a very very small puppy trying very very hard to stay awake and failing, the only word that struggles through the murk to the forefront of my mind is:

"FOOD"

Because I like to have sex with women.

Duh.

Above, yet another thing for which I simply CANNOT imagine an adjective. Huh. Weird. Is "Football" an adjective?