Tuesday, March 10, 2009

The Chiara Heresies

Chiara and I are in bed.

She is telling me a story from work:

They have a public address system at Nordstrom, where Chiara works, and occasionally employees are tasked to make certain announcements. The other day a particularly effeminate gay man who works with Chiara was making some announcements and Chiara was beside herself with delight.

Chiara adores everything about homosexual men.

Apparently this guy speaks with a pronounced lisp and in a kind of valley-girl patois and apparently it is quite funny and quite charming. Anyway, Chiara says to another girl she works with how much she enjoys when this particular guy makes announcements.

"Why?" says the girl.

"Because," says Chiara with an eyeroll "He's soooo gay!"

"Do you think so?" asks the girl, her face scrunched in confusion.

"Of. Course." levels Chiara.

And there is a kind of pause. Let us imagine it is longish and pregnant.

"Look," begins the other girl "not that I have any problem with it myself, but don't you think that gay people are doing something against the will of god?"

And, wait for it. Chiara's response:

"God? Which God? Are you stoopid? There ees no god. Don't be reediculous."

This is where I burst into shocked laughter.

"I theenk I might be a sociopath," says Chiara pensively.

1 comment:

  1. Why haven't I been here yet? I thoroughly enjoyed this post, which was my first exposure to your web-log. Chiara's comments, as well as your own writing style, are like humorous yet poignant music. Kudos to her for being tactless in that situation! Sometimes tact prevents learning (or teaching).

    Looking forward to reading more when time allows! Thanks for sharing!

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