Somewhere, a Pair of Black Panties are Unidentifiable

Yes, you will tell me that there are scores of reasonable explanations, but fuck you.

I went to get into my car today and I saw this on the asphalt nearby.

Is it a Hello, my name is sticker, do you think?

I would lay money that it's in a woman's hand - so the chances of it being ironic or jocular are somewhat reduced. But could she have so many as to need a label just for these? Who labels articles of clothing this way, anyhow?

The mysteries are legion. Also, it kinda turned me on.

I think it would make a perfectly good album cover someday.