1. Bon Iver - For Emma, Forever Ago
2. Fleet Foxes - Fleet Foxes/Sun Giant EP
3. Vampire Weekend - Vampire Weekend
4. TV on the Radio - Dear Science
5. Wolf Parade - At Mount Zoomer
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Top 5 Albums of 2008
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Monday, December 29, 2008
iPod Roulette with Nicoli
Nicoli actually lobbied me to be next. He said he wanted to cement how awful Eric's was. Let's see how he does.
Jeff: Okay. So, you have your iPod, you have your headphones. Go to the menu and put it on shuffle and when you get your first song, pause it and, you know, tell me what it is.
Nicoli: All right. The first song is, uh, 'Ain't that loving you (for more reasons than one)'.
Jeff: (Laughter)
Nicoli: Johnnie Taylor. From the Stax box-set you guys got me way back when.
Jeff: Yeah, that, uh, if I remember properly, you never listened to. But then I'm happy to hear it's on your iPod.
Nicoli: Well, it's on my iPod so that I will listen to it.
Jeff: (Laughter) Because Nathan and I were firmly convinced - and this was, god, ten years ago or something - we were firmly convinced you hated the gift. Would never open it. Would never listen to it.
Nicoli: (Laughter)
Jeff: I thought you'd sold it. I was never gonna ask about it, to tell you the truth.
Nicoli: I didn't hate it. I think I was disappointed. I was so built up; I thought I was getting a DVD player from everyone. That, I think, was the problem. I was like "Oh, I'm getting a DVD player!" And then, when I opened--whatever it was, if it wasn't a DVD player, it could have been supermodel and I would have been disappointed because I thought it was going to be a DVD player.
Jeff: I don't know if you could have fit a girl inside a box that size.
Nicoli: Well, there's--
Jeff: But it could have been a DVD player, I'll give you that. It was, you know, it was a big, square box . . .
Nicoli: Yeah, it was a big square box. Heavy . . .
Jeff: By the way, I'd like to go on record and say: "We win." DVD player would have been a much worse gift, it turns out. You would not still be using that.
Nicoli: That is actually not true.
Jeff: (Whispered) Fuck you.
Nicoli: I'm still using the DVD player Tey bought me that Christmas - because I think he knew I was disappointed that I didn't get one for my birthday. (Laughter)
Jeff: What a bastard you are.
Nicoli: No, it's uh--I listen to it occasionally. It's been good for, uh, Christmas compilations because it has a lot of--
Jeff: Oh, does it have that Soul Christmas stuff on it?
Nicoli: Yeah.
Jeff: Yeah, that's cool. I like Johnnie Taylor. I don't know that I know this song, actually. I should--man, I'd love to have that box-set. I think that was the big mistake; I think Nate and I bought you a gift that we both wanted.
Nicoli: Yeah.
Jeff: So there you go. Do you remember this song? You know it off the top of your head?
Nicoli: I'm listening to it in my other ear right now.
Jeff: Okay.
Nicoli: I don't recognize it.
Jeff: Yeah. But it's soulful and great.
Nicoli: Yeah. It's great. It's got the horns, the Memphis Horns, in the back.
Jeff: Yeah. Johnnie Taylor's cool. I have some Johnnie Taylor songs off the Atlantic Rhythm and Blues box-set and I often have thought about buying an actual just Johnnie Taylor album because I think his stuff is pretty hot.
Nicoli: I also like songs where there is a parenthetical after.
Jeff: (Laughter) Yeah. Sometimes they start with the parenthetical, which is very daring.
Nicoli: It's always fun where--you know it's a good song when they're like "this title is so long and good, we can't just--"
Jeff: What was the full title again?
Nicoli: The title is 'Ain't that Loving You (For More Reasons Than One).'
Jeff: (Laughter) That doesn't even make sense.
Nicoli: Yeah, I dunno.
Jeff: You have to really be cool to pull off a title that way. Okay, uh, so skip ahead. What's the next song?
Nicoli: The next song is 'Nancy' by Frank Sinatra, off the Very Good Years.
Jeff: (Laughter)
Nicoli: (Laughter)
Jeff: He has a song called 'Nancy' and he named his daughter Nancy Sinatra?
Nicoli: Well, it might be about his daughter Nancy.
Jeff: Oh, because I don't know this--do you know this song?
Nicoli: I've heard it, because I've listened to this album a couple of times. It's not one of the, uh . . . it's not one of the great songs. I mean, he's just basically singing about--I think he's like "I miss my daughter." It's like he's on the road and he misses her or something.
Jeff: Oh. Can I just say? Road Songs. Meh.
Nicoli: Though I like the Willie Nelson cover of 'You Were Always on My Mind.' I think that's the best road song.
Jeff: Do you think--is that a road song, really?
Nicoli: Well, he's talking about how he's been gone, he's doing all this stuff, she's was always on his mind. They get in fights . . .
Jeff: Wait a minute - that's not a cover, is it? Willie Nelson's?
Nicoli: I thought that was Willie--this is the thing: I saw him in concert.
Jeff: Yeah.
Nicoli: Did I see him in concert with you? At the Hollywood Bowl?
Jeff: Yes. Right. With Ryan Adams and Neko Case.
Nicoli: Yeah, yeah. So, at that concert, when he played that song, it was like I imagined the whole story behind the song. I imagined Willie, he'd been on the road, he'd maybe been in trouble with the law--
Jeff: (Laughter) All right.
Nicoli: --You know, he gets in a fight with his old lady and he's like, I dunno what to do, he goes out to the garage and he starts singing this song and he sings it to her and they make up.
Jeff: (Laughter)
Nicoli: Like, that's the story I imagine.
Jeff: Do you do that often? Do you often have--like you put together a narrative about songs?
Nicoli: Well, if it's a good song. You know. And then, and I was like, oh yeah, "Willie Nelson is a great songwriter," and my friend is like "that's not a Willie Nelson song." I said "what are you talking about?" But I looked it up and, yeah, some other guy wrote it and it's just become a--we just assume it's a Willie Nelson song.
Jeff: It's kind of a standard. So, Chiara - I was just playing Willie Nelson one day in the house and that song was on - and Chiara says something like "Oh, yeah, the Pet Shop Boys."
Nicoli: (Laughter)
Jeff: And I had to (Laughter) convince her it wasn't a Pet Shop Boys song.
Nicoli: (Laughter)
Jeff: So that's what you get when you marry a European. They actually live in a society wherein, when people here this song sung by, you know, some other person in a bar, they think "Oh, somebody's covering the Pet Shop Boys."
Nicoli: Oh, Europe.
Jeff: Yeah. Okay. So, 'Nancy,' Frank Sinatra. Okay, what's third?
Nicoli: I got, uh, 'Rhythm Sticks' by Blackalicious, off the Craft.
Jeff: Mmm.
Nicoli: So . . . not my favorite song off that album, but I do like Blackalicious. I feel like they are one of the underrated--you know, when there was that retro hip hop, Jurassic Five, you know?
Jeff: Yeah.
Nicoli: I think they got kind of--a little shafted. I think they had--they were more like the dancing version, you know? Like you could listen to J5, but you could actually dance to a Blackalicious album.
Jeff: Do they still make music?
Nicoli: I feel like they're still doing stuff. I dunno.
Jeff: But not anything that you have, then.
Nicoli: No. I think I just have the one album.
Jeff: But its cool? Because I don't have it.
Nicoli: You don't? There's this one song, 'Powers' that's really good.
Jeff: Mmm-mm. Cuz, I love that Jurassic Five--I have, I guess, the first one, but I don't think I ever got anything else. But I forgot about that whole thing for a while. So Blackalicious is cool, huh?
Nicoli: Blackalicious is cool, yeah. If you need to make a dance mix--
Jeff: Yeah, that's gonna happen.
Nicoli: For people who--yeah.
Jeff: I'm wearing a fucking sport coat right now, Nick. I'm gonna make a dance mix for anyone?
Nicoli: You never know. Some client might need a dance mix. I dunno, you guys do stings? Is that part of the lawyer--
Jeff: (Laughter) No. No. It isn't.
Nicoli: All right. Well--
Jeff: (Laughter)
Nicoli: Well, I dunno. I just see the movies. You're always tricking clients, tricking the bad guys. You gotta seduce prosecutors or their assistants. You wanna get something from a girl who likes to dance, so you make a dance mix with Blackalicious on it.
Jeff: All right. So 'Rhythm Sticks.' Anything particular about that?
Nicoli: Lemme give it a listen real quick.
Jeff: Okay.
Nicoli: (Pause) Yeah, it's--you know, it's like Jurassic Five but a little more dancey.
Jeff: (Laughter) All right, fair enough. So what's the fourth song?
Nicoli: 'She's Got You' by Patsy Cline.
Jeff: Oh. Okay, so I love that song, but I wanna hear what you have to say about it.
Nicoli: Uh . . . I don't listen to Patsy Cline as much as I feel like I should, you know? But this is a good song. This is one of those songs where she's singing about another girl in love with her guy - that kind of thing.
Jeff: Right.
Nicoli: Yeah, which is always good.
Jeff: Yeah. There's that line in the chorus about how she's got the picture, but the other girl has the guy. That's fucking great. There's nothing that's better at, you know, two in the morning when you're just a bit drunk and Patsy Cline shows up on the radio.
Nicoli: Yeah, it's one of the good--you know, if you're about to commit suicide because your girlfriend just broke up with you--
Jeff: Okay, you've gone rather maudlin. (Laughter) Shit.
Nicoli: Uh . . .
Jeff: So this would go on your suicide mix. There're a lot of mix tapes for awkward situations in your mind.
Nicoli: Well, I just feel like--here's what mean: this is a song that would come on if you had your iPod on shuffle and, if that was the song that came on, you'd be "Oh god!"
Jeff: Now it is time.
Nicoli: Yeah, well--not even--I'm just saying, when you break up with someone this is the song that would randomly come up on your iPod for some reason, you know, and you'll--"Oh god, Patsy! You're so right!"
Jeff: Get in a warm bath, you know . . .
Nicoli: Yeah.
Jeff: . . . with the toaster . . . little Patsy on the box.
Nicoli: Yeah.
Jeff: Okay, what's your fifth song? Last one, now.
Nicoli: Last song is 'The World has Turned and Left Me Here.'
Jeff: Is that in parentheses?
Nicoli: Uh, no. No parentheses. Just one long sentence on that one.
Jeff: Hmmm. I might have put in parentheses 'and left me here.' Who is this by?
Nicoli: Weezer.
Jeff: Oh, I don't think I know this one. What album is this on?
Nicoli: It's off their first album.
Jeff: Fuck, really? Okay, well then I plead the ignorance that comes with time.
Nicoli: (Laughter) You've just forgotten.
Jeff: Yes. Yes, I have, apparently, totally forgotten.
Nicoli: Well this is one of the better songs that wasn't a single off that album.
Jeff: Mmm.
Nicoli: Um . . . it's pretty simple, lyrically, you know. (Laughter)
Jeff: And probably chordally.
Nicoli: But, again, it's a kind of breakup-ish kind of song . . . uh . . .
Jeff: Do you know how the Godfather 3 has this horrible retroactive effect--or like a retrograde effect--on your opinion of the Godfather movies?
Nicoli: Yeah, yeah.
Jeff: That is what the last two Weezer albums have done to me with all Weezer.
Nicoli: Yeah.
Jeff: Weezer has, like, invented a machine that travels back in emotional time and ruins Weezer. And that machine they invented? Weezer.
Nicoli: You know, I think you might be right, because I've noticed that what I've started clinging on to on the new Weezer albums will be the one really good song on it. I feel like that's what they've become--there's like--and it's usually the last song--it's like the last song they'll actually make a real song that doesn't sound like the last ten singles they've released, you know, and instead of being two and a half minutes long, it'll be like five minutes long. It'll be a real song and I'll be like "Oh, but I really like the last song." So that's like the opera scene in Godfather 3. So I'm like that guy in the Godfather debate, where I'm like, "yeah, but the last song on the last two albums was really good, I think there is still something there--there's a chance."
Jeff: I think that Weezer in 2008 is Oasis in 2008. I think they're the same band now, you know what I mean? There's absolutely no point. I dunno. I mean, at least Rivers Cuomo did a solo thing, but I didn't hear any of it.
Nicoli: It's actually pretty good.
Jeff: Is it?
Nicoli: I just have the first one; I didn't get the second one.
Jeff: Right.
Nicoli: But the second one is actually supposed to be better because it's more--the first one is just kind of like, alternate takes and stuff, but the second is supposed to be just general songs, so . . .
Jeff: So those are your five. I dunno how you feel about them. I usually ask everyone this--well, I dunno, now I have to give everyone the same--is there a particular song that, in your dream, would have come up here? You know, that you would have liked to have been able to report that your shuffle had produced?
Nicoli: Yeah, you know--I like when--when people ask me for a favorite or something, I try not to think too hard, like Eric, about what the answer should be.
Jeff: (Laughter)
Nicoli: I just would choose whatever songs I listen to the most. I'd probably say the ones I've listened to the most would be, maybe 'Jesus, Etc.,' that Wilco song that we were obsessed with in Greece.
Jeff: Oh, sure. 2002, that was in my head for three months straight.
Nicoli: Or, the OK Computer--the Radiohead song, 'Let Down?' that one?
Jeff: Mmm. Sure.
Nicoli: I don't remember the name of it, but I remember listening to that one over and over. Or there's an Elvis Costello song that's probably--
Jeff: Yeah, I thought you would jump right to Elvis Costello when I asked that question.
Nicoli: Yeah, I'd probably say that song called 'Wave a White Flag' on My Aim is True. I don't even think it was really on the album, I think it was just on the--
Jeff: On the bonus disc?
Nicoli: Right, and that song is just really simple - it's just him and an acoustic guitar. It's kind of a funny song, but it's also sad. It's like the relationship is over and it's sad, but it's funny . . .
Jeff: Well, you clearly thought about this.
Nicoli: Yeah. that's one of my favorites.
END
Jeff: Okay. So, you have your iPod, you have your headphones. Go to the menu and put it on shuffle and when you get your first song, pause it and, you know, tell me what it is.
Nicoli: All right. The first song is, uh, 'Ain't that loving you (for more reasons than one)'.
Jeff: (Laughter)
Nicoli: Johnnie Taylor. From the Stax box-set you guys got me way back when.
Jeff: Yeah, that, uh, if I remember properly, you never listened to. But then I'm happy to hear it's on your iPod.
Nicoli: Well, it's on my iPod so that I will listen to it.
Jeff: (Laughter) Because Nathan and I were firmly convinced - and this was, god, ten years ago or something - we were firmly convinced you hated the gift. Would never open it. Would never listen to it.
Nicoli: (Laughter)
Jeff: I thought you'd sold it. I was never gonna ask about it, to tell you the truth.
Nicoli: I didn't hate it. I think I was disappointed. I was so built up; I thought I was getting a DVD player from everyone. That, I think, was the problem. I was like "Oh, I'm getting a DVD player!" And then, when I opened--whatever it was, if it wasn't a DVD player, it could have been supermodel and I would have been disappointed because I thought it was going to be a DVD player.
Jeff: I don't know if you could have fit a girl inside a box that size.
Nicoli: Well, there's--
Jeff: But it could have been a DVD player, I'll give you that. It was, you know, it was a big, square box . . .
Nicoli: Yeah, it was a big square box. Heavy . . .
Jeff: By the way, I'd like to go on record and say: "We win." DVD player would have been a much worse gift, it turns out. You would not still be using that.
Nicoli: That is actually not true.
Jeff: (Whispered) Fuck you.
Nicoli: I'm still using the DVD player Tey bought me that Christmas - because I think he knew I was disappointed that I didn't get one for my birthday. (Laughter)
Jeff: What a bastard you are.
Nicoli: No, it's uh--I listen to it occasionally. It's been good for, uh, Christmas compilations because it has a lot of--
Jeff: Oh, does it have that Soul Christmas stuff on it?
Nicoli: Yeah.
Jeff: Yeah, that's cool. I like Johnnie Taylor. I don't know that I know this song, actually. I should--man, I'd love to have that box-set. I think that was the big mistake; I think Nate and I bought you a gift that we both wanted.
Nicoli: Yeah.
Jeff: So there you go. Do you remember this song? You know it off the top of your head?
Nicoli: I'm listening to it in my other ear right now.
Jeff: Okay.
Nicoli: I don't recognize it.
Jeff: Yeah. But it's soulful and great.
Nicoli: Yeah. It's great. It's got the horns, the Memphis Horns, in the back.
Jeff: Yeah. Johnnie Taylor's cool. I have some Johnnie Taylor songs off the Atlantic Rhythm and Blues box-set and I often have thought about buying an actual just Johnnie Taylor album because I think his stuff is pretty hot.
Nicoli: I also like songs where there is a parenthetical after.
Jeff: (Laughter) Yeah. Sometimes they start with the parenthetical, which is very daring.
Nicoli: It's always fun where--you know it's a good song when they're like "this title is so long and good, we can't just--"
Jeff: What was the full title again?
Nicoli: The title is 'Ain't that Loving You (For More Reasons Than One).'
Jeff: (Laughter) That doesn't even make sense.
Nicoli: Yeah, I dunno.
Jeff: You have to really be cool to pull off a title that way. Okay, uh, so skip ahead. What's the next song?
Nicoli: The next song is 'Nancy' by Frank Sinatra, off the Very Good Years.
Jeff: (Laughter)
Nicoli: (Laughter)
Jeff: He has a song called 'Nancy' and he named his daughter Nancy Sinatra?
Nicoli: Well, it might be about his daughter Nancy.
Jeff: Oh, because I don't know this--do you know this song?
Nicoli: I've heard it, because I've listened to this album a couple of times. It's not one of the, uh . . . it's not one of the great songs. I mean, he's just basically singing about--I think he's like "I miss my daughter." It's like he's on the road and he misses her or something.
Jeff: Oh. Can I just say? Road Songs. Meh.
Nicoli: Though I like the Willie Nelson cover of 'You Were Always on My Mind.' I think that's the best road song.
Jeff: Do you think--is that a road song, really?
Nicoli: Well, he's talking about how he's been gone, he's doing all this stuff, she's was always on his mind. They get in fights . . .
Jeff: Wait a minute - that's not a cover, is it? Willie Nelson's?
Nicoli: I thought that was Willie--this is the thing: I saw him in concert.
Jeff: Yeah.
Nicoli: Did I see him in concert with you? At the Hollywood Bowl?
Jeff: Yes. Right. With Ryan Adams and Neko Case.
Nicoli: Yeah, yeah. So, at that concert, when he played that song, it was like I imagined the whole story behind the song. I imagined Willie, he'd been on the road, he'd maybe been in trouble with the law--
Jeff: (Laughter) All right.
Nicoli: --You know, he gets in a fight with his old lady and he's like, I dunno what to do, he goes out to the garage and he starts singing this song and he sings it to her and they make up.
Jeff: (Laughter)
Nicoli: Like, that's the story I imagine.
Jeff: Do you do that often? Do you often have--like you put together a narrative about songs?
Nicoli: Well, if it's a good song. You know. And then, and I was like, oh yeah, "Willie Nelson is a great songwriter," and my friend is like "that's not a Willie Nelson song." I said "what are you talking about?" But I looked it up and, yeah, some other guy wrote it and it's just become a--we just assume it's a Willie Nelson song.
Jeff: It's kind of a standard. So, Chiara - I was just playing Willie Nelson one day in the house and that song was on - and Chiara says something like "Oh, yeah, the Pet Shop Boys."
Nicoli: (Laughter)
Jeff: And I had to (Laughter) convince her it wasn't a Pet Shop Boys song.
Nicoli: (Laughter)
Jeff: So that's what you get when you marry a European. They actually live in a society wherein, when people here this song sung by, you know, some other person in a bar, they think "Oh, somebody's covering the Pet Shop Boys."
Nicoli: Oh, Europe.
Jeff: Yeah. Okay. So, 'Nancy,' Frank Sinatra. Okay, what's third?
Nicoli: I got, uh, 'Rhythm Sticks' by Blackalicious, off the Craft.
Jeff: Mmm.
Nicoli: So . . . not my favorite song off that album, but I do like Blackalicious. I feel like they are one of the underrated--you know, when there was that retro hip hop, Jurassic Five, you know?
Jeff: Yeah.
Nicoli: I think they got kind of--a little shafted. I think they had--they were more like the dancing version, you know? Like you could listen to J5, but you could actually dance to a Blackalicious album.
Jeff: Do they still make music?
Nicoli: I feel like they're still doing stuff. I dunno.
Jeff: But not anything that you have, then.
Nicoli: No. I think I just have the one album.
Jeff: But its cool? Because I don't have it.
Nicoli: You don't? There's this one song, 'Powers' that's really good.
Jeff: Mmm-mm. Cuz, I love that Jurassic Five--I have, I guess, the first one, but I don't think I ever got anything else. But I forgot about that whole thing for a while. So Blackalicious is cool, huh?
Nicoli: Blackalicious is cool, yeah. If you need to make a dance mix--
Jeff: Yeah, that's gonna happen.
Nicoli: For people who--yeah.
Jeff: I'm wearing a fucking sport coat right now, Nick. I'm gonna make a dance mix for anyone?
Nicoli: You never know. Some client might need a dance mix. I dunno, you guys do stings? Is that part of the lawyer--
Jeff: (Laughter) No. No. It isn't.
Nicoli: All right. Well--
Jeff: (Laughter)
Nicoli: Well, I dunno. I just see the movies. You're always tricking clients, tricking the bad guys. You gotta seduce prosecutors or their assistants. You wanna get something from a girl who likes to dance, so you make a dance mix with Blackalicious on it.
Jeff: All right. So 'Rhythm Sticks.' Anything particular about that?
Nicoli: Lemme give it a listen real quick.
Jeff: Okay.
Nicoli: (Pause) Yeah, it's--you know, it's like Jurassic Five but a little more dancey.
Jeff: (Laughter) All right, fair enough. So what's the fourth song?
Nicoli: 'She's Got You' by Patsy Cline.
Jeff: Oh. Okay, so I love that song, but I wanna hear what you have to say about it.
Nicoli: Uh . . . I don't listen to Patsy Cline as much as I feel like I should, you know? But this is a good song. This is one of those songs where she's singing about another girl in love with her guy - that kind of thing.
Jeff: Right.
Nicoli: Yeah, which is always good.
Jeff: Yeah. There's that line in the chorus about how she's got the picture, but the other girl has the guy. That's fucking great. There's nothing that's better at, you know, two in the morning when you're just a bit drunk and Patsy Cline shows up on the radio.
Nicoli: Yeah, it's one of the good--you know, if you're about to commit suicide because your girlfriend just broke up with you--
Jeff: Okay, you've gone rather maudlin. (Laughter) Shit.
Nicoli: Uh . . .
Jeff: So this would go on your suicide mix. There're a lot of mix tapes for awkward situations in your mind.
Nicoli: Well, I just feel like--here's what mean: this is a song that would come on if you had your iPod on shuffle and, if that was the song that came on, you'd be "Oh god!"
Jeff: Now it is time.
Nicoli: Yeah, well--not even--I'm just saying, when you break up with someone this is the song that would randomly come up on your iPod for some reason, you know, and you'll--"Oh god, Patsy! You're so right!"
Jeff: Get in a warm bath, you know . . .
Nicoli: Yeah.
Jeff: . . . with the toaster . . . little Patsy on the box.
Nicoli: Yeah.
Jeff: Okay, what's your fifth song? Last one, now.
Nicoli: Last song is 'The World has Turned and Left Me Here.'
Jeff: Is that in parentheses?
Nicoli: Uh, no. No parentheses. Just one long sentence on that one.
Jeff: Hmmm. I might have put in parentheses 'and left me here.' Who is this by?
Nicoli: Weezer.
Jeff: Oh, I don't think I know this one. What album is this on?
Nicoli: It's off their first album.
Jeff: Fuck, really? Okay, well then I plead the ignorance that comes with time.
Nicoli: (Laughter) You've just forgotten.
Jeff: Yes. Yes, I have, apparently, totally forgotten.
Nicoli: Well this is one of the better songs that wasn't a single off that album.
Jeff: Mmm.
Nicoli: Um . . . it's pretty simple, lyrically, you know. (Laughter)
Jeff: And probably chordally.
Nicoli: But, again, it's a kind of breakup-ish kind of song . . . uh . . .
Jeff: Do you know how the Godfather 3 has this horrible retroactive effect--or like a retrograde effect--on your opinion of the Godfather movies?
Nicoli: Yeah, yeah.
Jeff: That is what the last two Weezer albums have done to me with all Weezer.
Nicoli: Yeah.
Jeff: Weezer has, like, invented a machine that travels back in emotional time and ruins Weezer. And that machine they invented? Weezer.
Nicoli: You know, I think you might be right, because I've noticed that what I've started clinging on to on the new Weezer albums will be the one really good song on it. I feel like that's what they've become--there's like--and it's usually the last song--it's like the last song they'll actually make a real song that doesn't sound like the last ten singles they've released, you know, and instead of being two and a half minutes long, it'll be like five minutes long. It'll be a real song and I'll be like "Oh, but I really like the last song." So that's like the opera scene in Godfather 3. So I'm like that guy in the Godfather debate, where I'm like, "yeah, but the last song on the last two albums was really good, I think there is still something there--there's a chance."
Jeff: I think that Weezer in 2008 is Oasis in 2008. I think they're the same band now, you know what I mean? There's absolutely no point. I dunno. I mean, at least Rivers Cuomo did a solo thing, but I didn't hear any of it.
Nicoli: It's actually pretty good.
Jeff: Is it?
Nicoli: I just have the first one; I didn't get the second one.
Jeff: Right.
Nicoli: But the second one is actually supposed to be better because it's more--the first one is just kind of like, alternate takes and stuff, but the second is supposed to be just general songs, so . . .
Jeff: So those are your five. I dunno how you feel about them. I usually ask everyone this--well, I dunno, now I have to give everyone the same--is there a particular song that, in your dream, would have come up here? You know, that you would have liked to have been able to report that your shuffle had produced?
Nicoli: Yeah, you know--I like when--when people ask me for a favorite or something, I try not to think too hard, like Eric, about what the answer should be.
Jeff: (Laughter)
Nicoli: I just would choose whatever songs I listen to the most. I'd probably say the ones I've listened to the most would be, maybe 'Jesus, Etc.,' that Wilco song that we were obsessed with in Greece.
Jeff: Oh, sure. 2002, that was in my head for three months straight.
Nicoli: Or, the OK Computer--the Radiohead song, 'Let Down?' that one?
Jeff: Mmm. Sure.
Nicoli: I don't remember the name of it, but I remember listening to that one over and over. Or there's an Elvis Costello song that's probably--
Jeff: Yeah, I thought you would jump right to Elvis Costello when I asked that question.
Nicoli: Yeah, I'd probably say that song called 'Wave a White Flag' on My Aim is True. I don't even think it was really on the album, I think it was just on the--
Jeff: On the bonus disc?
Nicoli: Right, and that song is just really simple - it's just him and an acoustic guitar. It's kind of a funny song, but it's also sad. It's like the relationship is over and it's sad, but it's funny . . .
Jeff: Well, you clearly thought about this.
Nicoli: Yeah. that's one of my favorites.
END
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
The Supermarket of Cthulhu
Hunting all over town yesterday for a poinsettia (Chiara needed it for a table display) and ended up back in my neighborhood, checking the grocery stores.
Basically there are two. There is the Smith's, which is really rather nice; smallish and yuppified, and with a liquor store and a dry cleaner's underneath. And there is the Albertson's, which gives off so palpable an aura of dread for me that I've never even gone inside.
But Chiara needed a poinsettia. And Smith's did not have one to sell.
So I'm in the parking lot of the Albertson's and it is nearly deserted.
In a handicapped spot is a junker with a toddler-sized severed doll head hanging from the rear view mirror. There are two spots very near the entrance specifically marked only for police parking. Off in the far corner of the lot, under a sputtering halogen light, is a windowless van in idle.
Inside is a circus show.
The aisles are strewn with bags of food toppled from their shelves, puddles of snowmelt have to be jumped at nearly every checkout stand, the bakery is dark but its wares are still out, under their sneeze guards, going stale.
The clientele give the impression that the store's manager may have accidentally booked a roadie convention for the store and, on the same day, a 1973 class reunion for an all transsexual high school.
A scarecrow man with stringy, wet hair sang to himself as he passed by me on his way to the exit. In his shopping bag he had lightbulbs and a box of matches.
As I searched frantically for the floral department, a married couple dressed in leather argued forcefully over a package of waffle cones.
A solitary old woman slowly pushed a cart so squeeky one might have been forgiven for thinking it was haunted by the ghost of a child who died in pain. The old woman seemed not to hear it, but shuffled on, looking lost and afraid.
The florist's counter was like something out of the Omega Man, not sinister or rundown per se, but so completely abandoned and stocked so entirely with dead and dying plants as to give the impression that the florist had left weeks ago to hunt for fuel or firewood and had never returned.
I quickly selected the least plague ridden poinsettia from the dismal pile and made for the checkstands.
I took one look at the snaggle-toothed man working the express lane and the corpulent zombie packing the bags of groceries and made for the self-checkout.
In the end, I made it home without incident. Chiara came home some three hours later and I was still washing and washing my hands.
She didn't even use the plant in her table display. She said there was just something wrong about it.
I called her a snob.
Basically there are two. There is the Smith's, which is really rather nice; smallish and yuppified, and with a liquor store and a dry cleaner's underneath. And there is the Albertson's, which gives off so palpable an aura of dread for me that I've never even gone inside.
But Chiara needed a poinsettia. And Smith's did not have one to sell.
So I'm in the parking lot of the Albertson's and it is nearly deserted.
In a handicapped spot is a junker with a toddler-sized severed doll head hanging from the rear view mirror. There are two spots very near the entrance specifically marked only for police parking. Off in the far corner of the lot, under a sputtering halogen light, is a windowless van in idle.
Inside is a circus show.
The aisles are strewn with bags of food toppled from their shelves, puddles of snowmelt have to be jumped at nearly every checkout stand, the bakery is dark but its wares are still out, under their sneeze guards, going stale.
The clientele give the impression that the store's manager may have accidentally booked a roadie convention for the store and, on the same day, a 1973 class reunion for an all transsexual high school.
A scarecrow man with stringy, wet hair sang to himself as he passed by me on his way to the exit. In his shopping bag he had lightbulbs and a box of matches.
As I searched frantically for the floral department, a married couple dressed in leather argued forcefully over a package of waffle cones.
A solitary old woman slowly pushed a cart so squeeky one might have been forgiven for thinking it was haunted by the ghost of a child who died in pain. The old woman seemed not to hear it, but shuffled on, looking lost and afraid.
The florist's counter was like something out of the Omega Man, not sinister or rundown per se, but so completely abandoned and stocked so entirely with dead and dying plants as to give the impression that the florist had left weeks ago to hunt for fuel or firewood and had never returned.
I quickly selected the least plague ridden poinsettia from the dismal pile and made for the checkstands.
I took one look at the snaggle-toothed man working the express lane and the corpulent zombie packing the bags of groceries and made for the self-checkout.
In the end, I made it home without incident. Chiara came home some three hours later and I was still washing and washing my hands.
She didn't even use the plant in her table display. She said there was just something wrong about it.
I called her a snob.
Thursday, December 18, 2008
iPod Roulette with Tim
So. For this installment of iPod roulette I got my brother-in-law, Tim, to subject his randomized music library to our scorn or vicarious embarrassment or whatever. The results, I think you'll see, were quite different from Eric's, a fact which will make Eric the saddest man in America this Holiday season, I'm sure.
Jeff: Okay. So now we're on the record, Tim. Do you have the iPod--do you have it on shuffle yet?
Tim: I haven't yet.
Jeff: Okay, do it now.
Tim: Want me to push 'shuffle songs?'
Jeff: Yeah. Like, start a new shuffle.
Tim: Here we go.
Jeff: Okay. Tell me what the first song is and then pause it.
Tim: The first song is . . . is Charles Brown.
Jeff: What's the song?
Tim: The song is 'Lonesome Feeling.'
Jeff: 'Lonesome Feeling.'
Tim: And I have never heard this song before.
Jeff: (Laughter) Well, you have headphones there, right?
Tim: Yeah.
Jeff: So listen to it; see if you recognize it. I'll take a minute. You listen to some of it.
Tim: Okay. (Pause for about thirty seconds) Yeah. Never heard it before.
Jeff: (Laughter)
Tim: But it's off his record Driftin' Blues. And, uh--
Jeff: (Laughter) Wait a minute. I am reasonably certain that you only have that album because I gave it to you. And so, what? You never listened to it? Cuz I have that album and I don't necessarily remember that song, but I love Charles Brown.
Tim: Yeah, I mean, it's saxophone rich and so, I'm sure it's . . . good.
Jeff: (Laughter) What, does that drive you into the corner?
Tim: No, no, no. I think it's . . . it's good.
Jeff: Well, so, here's what you have to do immediately after this interview: put Charles Brown on your damn playlist. Cuz, he's cool. It's soulful.
Tim: I'll do it.
Jeff: All right. So, what's the next song on--that your shuffle comes up with.
Tim: The next song is by Swan Lake. The name of the song is 'Shooting Rockets.'
Jeff: Okay, I've never heard of Swan Lake.
Tim: Swan Lake is a collaboration between Dan Bejar and, uh . . .
Jeff: Yes. No, I have heard of this. And the guy from Wolf Parade, right?
Tim: Yeah. What's his name?
Jeff: Spencer . . .
Tim: Spencer Krug.
Jeff: Krug. Right. Yeah.
Tim: And the other guy from Spencer Krug's old band, the fat kid, the fat guy.
Jeff: (Laughter) That I don't know.
Tim: Frog Eyes. That guy.
Jeff: I got nothing, but okay.
Tim: So, you know. A Canadian power--indie power--group.
Jeff: (Laughter)
Tim: But the album for me kinda fell flat. It has a couple good songs--
Jeff: Do you remember this song in particular?
Tim: Uh. Let me listen to it really quick, just to remember.
Jeff: Yeah.
Tim: Hold on.
Jeff: Yeah.
Tim: (Pause for about thrity seconds) Okay.
Jeff: So?
Tim: Yeah, I do remember.
Jeff: And?
Tim: And it's--it's not anything worth remembering.
Jeff: It's just there.
Tim: You know, Dan Bejar--
Jeff: You went to that Destroyer concert with me, right?
Tim: I did.
Jeff: Yeah. That was cool.
Tim: It was fun.
Jeff: Yeah, all right.
Tim: It was good.
Jeff: Okay, so, uh--but not good enough to make a, uh, a Swan Lake record anything.
Tim: Yeah, I mean . . .
Jeff: All right. What are you gonna do?
Tim: They're at their worst--
Jeff: I gotta say, so far your iPod seems pretty nonplussed with you.
Tim: I know.
Jeff: All right, so what's third?
Tim: Huh?
Jeff: What's third? Third thing on your shuffle. You get five.
Tim: Okay. It is, um . . . John Coltrane. 'Autumn Serenade.'
Jeff: Oh, see, that's--that's a good one.
Tim: And I have heard this one before.
Jeff: Yeah, I hope so.
Tim: And . . . it's good. I like John Coltrane. I'm not a big--I'm not a big jazz person, but there're some things that I like and I do like John Coltrane.
Jeff: Oh, man. You should just go home and listen to John Coltrane until your ears bleed.
Tim: Yeah.
Jeff: You know?
Tim: Anyway, yeah. I like John Coltrane. He's a good guy.
Jeff: (Laughter)
Tim: And this is off the album John Coltrane and Johnny Hartman.
Jeff: So, okay. You have nothing more to say other than "it's good," you bastard? This is, I mean you should be able to wax philosophic about 'Autumn Serenade,' it seems to me.
Tim: (Silence)
Jeff: (Laughter) Okay. Good answer. You win. So what's next? What's fourth?
Tim: Next one?
Jeff: Yeah, fourth.
Tim: Okay. Next one is by the Buena Vista Social Club. 'Orgullecida.'
Jeff: God, all right. I wish my Spanish were better. We should ask Nate what that means.
Tim: Orgullecida. I dunno.
Jeff: Do you remember which one that is?
Tim: Yeah. It's um, the one that's called 'Orgullecida.'
Jeff: (Laughter)
Tim: (Sings) "Orgullecida!"
Jeff: (Laughter)
Tim: Yeah, you know. It sounds like that.
Jeff: Did you see the movie? The documentary about the making of the album?
Tim: Yeah. This really--this album made me really like Cubans.
Jeff: (Laughter)
Tim: So, you know.
Jeff: It did what all those posters of Che could never do for you.
Tim: Yeah.
Jeff: So, did you also see that they released a live recording, I think from that New York concert from the end of the documentary. I think that's the concert they just released as a live album and on Metacritic it's like one of the best reviewed albums of the year.
Tim: Hmm.
Jeff: Yeah. Even though it's, I think, the same songs that you already have, so . . .
Tim: (Silence)
Jeff: No strong feelings about that, though . . .
Tim: I think, out of--I mean, there's some other, some better songs, but I think that entire record that they made was--
Jeff: It is really listenable.
Tim: I listen to it every summer.
Jeff: Yeah, I agree.
Tim: I listen to it at, you know, barbecues and--
Jeff: No, it is really listenable. It does always sound good. Did you ever buy any of the spinoff albums by the different people who were in . . .
Tim: Yeah. What's the old guy's name?
Jeff: They're all old, dude. That's kind of the gimmick.
Tim: (Laughter) The guy who's the singer, what's his name?
Jeff: Oh, I do know his name, but now I can't remember it. As soon as we're being recorded I . . . go blank. Ah, it doesn't matter. But you have that one, too?
Tim: Yeah, I do. What's his name? I don't remember.
Jeff: If I think of it later I'll pretend you remembered it in the written version of this.
[Editor's Note: I didn't so pretend and his name is Ibrahim Ferrer.]
Jeff: So, right. Okay. Last one. Last one. Big number. Let's hope it's more embarrassing than any of these have been.
Tim: Yeah, okay. So the last one is . . . drumroll.
Jeff: Drumroll.
Tim: Okay, it is the Pixies.
Jeff: Ah, you fucker. How come every song you've gotten has been totally defensible and good? All right, what song, what song?
Tim: 'Nimrod's Son.'
Jeff: Oh yeah, sure. That's even a good one. Fuck you.
Tim: Yeah. It is good. So, I started listening to the Pixies not too long ago; maybe--no, that's not true. Kind of a while ago. I'm trying to think. Where was I? I was on--I'm trying to remember.
Jeff: It better not be because of, you know, Fight Club. Else I'll come over there and slap you.
Tim: What does it have to do with Fight Club again, I'm sorry.
Jeff: There's that Pixies song 'Where is My Mind' in the end of Fight Club and after that, suddenly people liked the Pixies, you know, who didn't like the Pixies before and I . . . I had to slap all of them.
Tim: Really?
Jeff: Yes. Fuck you.
Tim: I think it was after that. I think it was like 2002. Fight Club was like 2001, right? 2000?
Jeff: Actually, yeah, I don't remember. It might have been before that.
Tim: Yeah, I think it was 2002. I think, yeah, I think I got into them in the end of 2002. I listened to Surfer Rosa. And it's like--It's like one of those--it's only happened a couple of times where, like, you listen to a artist, like, for the first time really and you're kind of just blown away?
Jeff: Yeah. Yeah.
Tim: It's like, I remember the first time I--
Jeff: Changed your life.
Tim: Or like, not really listened to David Bowie, but like, really listened to it, you know?
Jeff: Yeah.
Tim: Yeah, it was incredible. I think Surfer Rosa was the first one I listened to. No! Doolittle. It was like the whole album--
Jeff: Yeah. I know what you mean. It's true. You don't get very many of those, you know?
Tim: And then I listened--shortly after that I listened Surfer Rosa, but I didnt listen to this one, Death to the Pixies until--
Jeff: Death to the Pixies, that's the greatest hits, right?
Tim: Is it?
Jeff: Yeah. I think.
Tim: I didn't listen to this until like 2006.
Jeff: I see. Well, all right. I will tell you this much: the person who is going to be the most angry at you after I publish this blog is gonna be, uh, Eric.
Tim: (Laughter) Why?
Jeff: Who you are going to see soon enough, because he's visiting here for the holidays, and he's probably gonna--oh, he's probably gonna dump a vat of something noxious on you.
Tim: (Laughter)
Jeff: Because he had five songs, and he did not get a single one he was happy with, you know? Yeah, I mean he was like--his iPod was like out to cock-block him on a date or something.
Tim: (Laughter)
Jeff: It was determined to make a fool of him. It was like--it was clearly--compared to this? I mean you got five songs in a row that I think are all--not only mostly--not only are four of these five easily defensible great songs, but the fifth one, which is maybe that Swan Lake song is, you know, it's cool because it's so obscure and--
Tim: It's not a very good album. It is cool I guess because it's obscure, I guess, but it's not--
Jeff: But that was Eric's dream, was to get a bunch of obscure things he didn't really like and pretend that he did.
Tim: Yeah.
Jeff: Okay. So that said, I guess I still should give you the same thing that I gave Eric, even thought it isn't fair to Eric, but I should give you an alternate. Is there a song that, like, you really wish had come up cuz it would have made you seem the way, you know, the way that you wish you seemed?
Tim: Uh . . .
Jeff: Not really?
Tim: Lemme think. I mean, it was pretty fair. I guess.
Jeff: (Laughter) Sure.
Tim: Um, let me think . . .
Jeff: You know, I know that you have, on your iPod, you have songs that you made - how embarrassing would it have been if one of those had come up?
Tim: Embarrassing.
Jeff: Oh, it would have been really--
Tim: Well, I dunno if there would have been much conversation since I'm the only one who has really heard them.
Jeff: Yeah, but I would have pilloried you.
Tim: You would have pilloried me?
Jeff: (Laughter) Yes. It's a word.
Tim: What's that mean?
Jeff: (Laughter)
Tim: (Laughter) What's it mean?
Jeff: Oh geez. You're only doing this now because you know it's getting into the transcript and will make me look worse than you.
END
Jeff: Okay. So now we're on the record, Tim. Do you have the iPod--do you have it on shuffle yet?
Tim: I haven't yet.
Jeff: Okay, do it now.
Tim: Want me to push 'shuffle songs?'
Jeff: Yeah. Like, start a new shuffle.
Tim: Here we go.
Jeff: Okay. Tell me what the first song is and then pause it.
Tim: The first song is . . . is Charles Brown.
Jeff: What's the song?
Tim: The song is 'Lonesome Feeling.'
Jeff: 'Lonesome Feeling.'
Tim: And I have never heard this song before.
Jeff: (Laughter) Well, you have headphones there, right?
Tim: Yeah.
Jeff: So listen to it; see if you recognize it. I'll take a minute. You listen to some of it.
Tim: Okay. (Pause for about thirty seconds) Yeah. Never heard it before.
Jeff: (Laughter)
Tim: But it's off his record Driftin' Blues. And, uh--
Jeff: (Laughter) Wait a minute. I am reasonably certain that you only have that album because I gave it to you. And so, what? You never listened to it? Cuz I have that album and I don't necessarily remember that song, but I love Charles Brown.
Tim: Yeah, I mean, it's saxophone rich and so, I'm sure it's . . . good.
Jeff: (Laughter) What, does that drive you into the corner?
Tim: No, no, no. I think it's . . . it's good.
Jeff: Well, so, here's what you have to do immediately after this interview: put Charles Brown on your damn playlist. Cuz, he's cool. It's soulful.
Tim: I'll do it.
Jeff: All right. So, what's the next song on--that your shuffle comes up with.
Tim: The next song is by Swan Lake. The name of the song is 'Shooting Rockets.'
Jeff: Okay, I've never heard of Swan Lake.
Tim: Swan Lake is a collaboration between Dan Bejar and, uh . . .
Jeff: Yes. No, I have heard of this. And the guy from Wolf Parade, right?
Tim: Yeah. What's his name?
Jeff: Spencer . . .
Tim: Spencer Krug.
Jeff: Krug. Right. Yeah.
Tim: And the other guy from Spencer Krug's old band, the fat kid, the fat guy.
Jeff: (Laughter) That I don't know.
Tim: Frog Eyes. That guy.
Jeff: I got nothing, but okay.
Tim: So, you know. A Canadian power--indie power--group.
Jeff: (Laughter)
Tim: But the album for me kinda fell flat. It has a couple good songs--
Jeff: Do you remember this song in particular?
Tim: Uh. Let me listen to it really quick, just to remember.
Jeff: Yeah.
Tim: Hold on.
Jeff: Yeah.
Tim: (Pause for about thrity seconds) Okay.
Jeff: So?
Tim: Yeah, I do remember.
Jeff: And?
Tim: And it's--it's not anything worth remembering.
Jeff: It's just there.
Tim: You know, Dan Bejar--
Jeff: You went to that Destroyer concert with me, right?
Tim: I did.
Jeff: Yeah. That was cool.
Tim: It was fun.
Jeff: Yeah, all right.
Tim: It was good.
Jeff: Okay, so, uh--but not good enough to make a, uh, a Swan Lake record anything.
Tim: Yeah, I mean . . .
Jeff: All right. What are you gonna do?
Tim: They're at their worst--
Jeff: I gotta say, so far your iPod seems pretty nonplussed with you.
Tim: I know.
Jeff: All right, so what's third?
Tim: Huh?
Jeff: What's third? Third thing on your shuffle. You get five.
Tim: Okay. It is, um . . . John Coltrane. 'Autumn Serenade.'
Jeff: Oh, see, that's--that's a good one.
Tim: And I have heard this one before.
Jeff: Yeah, I hope so.
Tim: And . . . it's good. I like John Coltrane. I'm not a big--I'm not a big jazz person, but there're some things that I like and I do like John Coltrane.
Jeff: Oh, man. You should just go home and listen to John Coltrane until your ears bleed.
Tim: Yeah.
Jeff: You know?
Tim: Anyway, yeah. I like John Coltrane. He's a good guy.
Jeff: (Laughter)
Tim: And this is off the album John Coltrane and Johnny Hartman.
Jeff: So, okay. You have nothing more to say other than "it's good," you bastard? This is, I mean you should be able to wax philosophic about 'Autumn Serenade,' it seems to me.
Tim: (Silence)
Jeff: (Laughter) Okay. Good answer. You win. So what's next? What's fourth?
Tim: Next one?
Jeff: Yeah, fourth.
Tim: Okay. Next one is by the Buena Vista Social Club. 'Orgullecida.'
Jeff: God, all right. I wish my Spanish were better. We should ask Nate what that means.
Tim: Orgullecida. I dunno.
Jeff: Do you remember which one that is?
Tim: Yeah. It's um, the one that's called 'Orgullecida.'
Jeff: (Laughter)
Tim: (Sings) "Orgullecida!"
Jeff: (Laughter)
Tim: Yeah, you know. It sounds like that.
Jeff: Did you see the movie? The documentary about the making of the album?
Tim: Yeah. This really--this album made me really like Cubans.
Jeff: (Laughter)
Tim: So, you know.
Jeff: It did what all those posters of Che could never do for you.
Tim: Yeah.
Jeff: So, did you also see that they released a live recording, I think from that New York concert from the end of the documentary. I think that's the concert they just released as a live album and on Metacritic it's like one of the best reviewed albums of the year.
Tim: Hmm.
Jeff: Yeah. Even though it's, I think, the same songs that you already have, so . . .
Tim: (Silence)
Jeff: No strong feelings about that, though . . .
Tim: I think, out of--I mean, there's some other, some better songs, but I think that entire record that they made was--
Jeff: It is really listenable.
Tim: I listen to it every summer.
Jeff: Yeah, I agree.
Tim: I listen to it at, you know, barbecues and--
Jeff: No, it is really listenable. It does always sound good. Did you ever buy any of the spinoff albums by the different people who were in . . .
Tim: Yeah. What's the old guy's name?
Jeff: They're all old, dude. That's kind of the gimmick.
Tim: (Laughter) The guy who's the singer, what's his name?
Jeff: Oh, I do know his name, but now I can't remember it. As soon as we're being recorded I . . . go blank. Ah, it doesn't matter. But you have that one, too?
Tim: Yeah, I do. What's his name? I don't remember.
Jeff: If I think of it later I'll pretend you remembered it in the written version of this.
[Editor's Note: I didn't so pretend and his name is Ibrahim Ferrer.]
Jeff: So, right. Okay. Last one. Last one. Big number. Let's hope it's more embarrassing than any of these have been.
Tim: Yeah, okay. So the last one is . . . drumroll.
Jeff: Drumroll.
Tim: Okay, it is the Pixies.
Jeff: Ah, you fucker. How come every song you've gotten has been totally defensible and good? All right, what song, what song?
Tim: 'Nimrod's Son.'
Jeff: Oh yeah, sure. That's even a good one. Fuck you.
Tim: Yeah. It is good. So, I started listening to the Pixies not too long ago; maybe--no, that's not true. Kind of a while ago. I'm trying to think. Where was I? I was on--I'm trying to remember.
Jeff: It better not be because of, you know, Fight Club. Else I'll come over there and slap you.
Tim: What does it have to do with Fight Club again, I'm sorry.
Jeff: There's that Pixies song 'Where is My Mind' in the end of Fight Club and after that, suddenly people liked the Pixies, you know, who didn't like the Pixies before and I . . . I had to slap all of them.
Tim: Really?
Jeff: Yes. Fuck you.
Tim: I think it was after that. I think it was like 2002. Fight Club was like 2001, right? 2000?
Jeff: Actually, yeah, I don't remember. It might have been before that.
Tim: Yeah, I think it was 2002. I think, yeah, I think I got into them in the end of 2002. I listened to Surfer Rosa. And it's like--It's like one of those--it's only happened a couple of times where, like, you listen to a artist, like, for the first time really and you're kind of just blown away?
Jeff: Yeah. Yeah.
Tim: It's like, I remember the first time I--
Jeff: Changed your life.
Tim: Or like, not really listened to David Bowie, but like, really listened to it, you know?
Jeff: Yeah.
Tim: Yeah, it was incredible. I think Surfer Rosa was the first one I listened to. No! Doolittle. It was like the whole album--
Jeff: Yeah. I know what you mean. It's true. You don't get very many of those, you know?
Tim: And then I listened--shortly after that I listened Surfer Rosa, but I didnt listen to this one, Death to the Pixies until--
Jeff: Death to the Pixies, that's the greatest hits, right?
Tim: Is it?
Jeff: Yeah. I think.
Tim: I didn't listen to this until like 2006.
Jeff: I see. Well, all right. I will tell you this much: the person who is going to be the most angry at you after I publish this blog is gonna be, uh, Eric.
Tim: (Laughter) Why?
Jeff: Who you are going to see soon enough, because he's visiting here for the holidays, and he's probably gonna--oh, he's probably gonna dump a vat of something noxious on you.
Tim: (Laughter)
Jeff: Because he had five songs, and he did not get a single one he was happy with, you know? Yeah, I mean he was like--his iPod was like out to cock-block him on a date or something.
Tim: (Laughter)
Jeff: It was determined to make a fool of him. It was like--it was clearly--compared to this? I mean you got five songs in a row that I think are all--not only mostly--not only are four of these five easily defensible great songs, but the fifth one, which is maybe that Swan Lake song is, you know, it's cool because it's so obscure and--
Tim: It's not a very good album. It is cool I guess because it's obscure, I guess, but it's not--
Jeff: But that was Eric's dream, was to get a bunch of obscure things he didn't really like and pretend that he did.
Tim: Yeah.
Jeff: Okay. So that said, I guess I still should give you the same thing that I gave Eric, even thought it isn't fair to Eric, but I should give you an alternate. Is there a song that, like, you really wish had come up cuz it would have made you seem the way, you know, the way that you wish you seemed?
Tim: Uh . . .
Jeff: Not really?
Tim: Lemme think. I mean, it was pretty fair. I guess.
Jeff: (Laughter) Sure.
Tim: Um, let me think . . .
Jeff: You know, I know that you have, on your iPod, you have songs that you made - how embarrassing would it have been if one of those had come up?
Tim: Embarrassing.
Jeff: Oh, it would have been really--
Tim: Well, I dunno if there would have been much conversation since I'm the only one who has really heard them.
Jeff: Yeah, but I would have pilloried you.
Tim: You would have pilloried me?
Jeff: (Laughter) Yes. It's a word.
Tim: What's that mean?
Jeff: (Laughter)
Tim: (Laughter) What's it mean?
Jeff: Oh geez. You're only doing this now because you know it's getting into the transcript and will make me look worse than you.
END
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Time to Make the Guilt!
Chiara left a delightful message on my voicemail:
"Hi Honey, I'm on my way home and I bought donuts for us. When I got there, there were these two FAT ladies eating donuts in their car and I almost didn't buy any. Then I got over eet."
And that is, precisely, the power of a donut and the importance of a wife.
Nicely done, Chiara. Nicely done, donuts.
iPod Roulette with Eric
The new thing I'm doing on this blog is interviewing the people I know along with their iPods. Basically, I have them put their iPod on shuffle and they tell me the first five songs that come up - no cheating. Then, they have to tell me something about those five songs, whether to justify them or to extol their virtues or whatever.
This week's subject is my friend Eric.
His first remark is in response to the magic voice that announces that the phone call is being recorded.
Eric: Hey, look at that, it tells me.
Jeff: Yeah, that's because it could be illegal to record you without you knowing in some states.
Eric: It didn't tell me earlier, the last time.
Jeff: That's because I started the recording before you picked up the phone.
Eric: So there's a way around it. I see. All right, you ready?
Jeff: Yeah. I guess the first thing to do is you put your iPod on shuffle - well, do you have your iPod in front of you?
Eric: Yes, I do.
Jeff: Okay, let's go; let's see what the first one is.
Eric: First song? It's doing it. It's thinking. It's a very slow thinker, my iPod.
Jeff: It's trying very hard to come up with something embarrassing.
Eric: Okay, this is 'Deja Vu' by Crosby Stills Nash & Young.
Jeff: (Laughter)
Eric: All right. So, then . . .
Jeff: Hold on, so now, while you let that play for a moment, I dunno, justify that. Extol its virtues.
Eric: Well, I mean, I can't listen to it because I'm not in the car, but my guess is that it's skipping uncontrolably because I - this was one of the first CDs I ever owned.
Jeff: When would that have been?
Eric: That would have been in the early nineties. Because Crosby Stills & Nash was the first concert I ever went to--
Jeff: Really?
Eric: --and the first backstage.
Jeff: Really? You went backstage at the first concert you ever went to?
Eric: Yup, my parents bought that for me.
Jeff: Where was this?
Eric: This was up at Deer Valley.
Jeff: Did you meet any of them?
Eric: I got to meet Crosby and Stills, and Stills gave me his pick, and I still have it.
Jeff: Is that true?
Eric: Yeah, it's true.
Jeff: Do you use it when you play guitar?
Eric: No, no. It's just sitting in a box.
Jeff: I mean, I wouldn't put it in your mouth or anything when you're tuning the guitar, but it's cool to have. I guess.
Eric: I also have a guitar pick from Earl Slick from my fucking Rock Camp days.
Jeff: (Laughter) I forgot about Rock Camp. That's great. See, if you had your own blog I would really advise you to write about Rock Camp.
Eric: (Laughter) So this comes from that. And it skips uncontrolably, so I can't really listen to it. The only reason I imported it was because it was one of the first CDs I ever had.
Jeff: So it has only sentimental value.
Eric: Yeah, it has only sentimental value. And it does nothing but upset me.
Jeff: (Laughter)
Eric: In fact, I'm looking at it right now and it's just stopped - at a minute-thirty. It's not going anywhere.
Jeff: (Laughter) Great. Okay, so skip ahead. let's go to the next one.
Eric: Okay. Next one. Allright. It's really going through some great ones now. 'Rapper's Delight' by the Sugarhill Gang.
Jeff: (Laughter)
Eric: You know, it's like, usually my shuffle I can trust, but this time not so much.
Jeff: (Laughter) So muse for me about 'Rapper's Delight.' Is that the only Sugarhill Gang song you have?
Eric: No. I also have, uh, 'Showdown.' All right, so 'Rapper's Delight'--
Jeff: Correct me if I'm wrong but you, at one point, could do the whole song.
Eric: Yeah, I could. Look, I don't really know what to say about 'Rapper's Delight' that hasn't been said by elderly women in the Wedding Singer already.
Jeff: (Laughter) All right, fair enough. I think you've covered that. Okay, skip ahead. What've you got?
Eric: Get to the next one. Okay, we've got 'Torture', by the Replacements off All Shook Down. Finally a song worth talking about, although not my favorite off that album. So, uh . . .
Jeff: I don't think I have that album even.
Eric: Actually, the Replacements were introduced to me by you.
Jeff: Is that true?
Eric: Yeah, yeah. You played something off--
Jeff: Something off--
Eric: Let it Be.
Jeff: Yeah, I was gonna say: something off Let it Be, yeah.
Eric: Yeah, Let it Be. And my first reaction was, uh, you played - God, what'd you play?
Jeff: I dunno.
Eric: You played one song that reminded me of 'Ooh That Smell,' and I got very upset.
Jeff: (Laughter) That's what hooked you. 'Ooh That Smell.'
Eric: "Ooh That Smell."
Jeff: "The smell of what's around you."
Eric: Is that Foreigner?
Jeff: Who sings that song? No, no.
Eric: What song am I thinking of, off Let it Be? I can't remember. But anyway, so that was my first impression. So I immediately--
Jeff: And you immediately wanted it.
Eric: And then (Laughter), and then I listened to the first track off Let it Be, what's it called?
Jeff: Um, 'I Will Dare'? Is that what it's called?
Eric: 'I Will Dare.' Yeah. 'I Will Dare,' which is one of my favorite songs now.
Jeff: It is a great song, yeah.
Eric: And I decided to buy all the Replacements albums and this last one was, I believe it was the last official Replacements album and one of their best, I think it's a great--
Jeff: Really? I don't even have that one. Maybe I should buy it.
Eric: It's great, so . . .
Jeff: All right. So skip ahead. What have you got next?
Eric: So four, 'The Gash' by the Flaming Lips off the Soft Bulletin. To be honest with you, I don't know what 'The Gash' - I mean I know that album, but I only listen to it as an album so I'm not sure which song 'The Gash' is.
Jeff: Yeah, to tell you the truth, I don't remember what song that might be either and I've, you know, I've listened to that album a mess of times.
Eric: I don't even know what to say about that. Okay, so the Soft Bulletin is a great progressive rock-bullshit-pretentious-idiot (Laughter) for a bunch of hippies and all that shit, but it's great.
Jeff: (Laughter) Okay. All right. Fair enough. Last one, here we go.
Eric: All right, last song.
Jeff: Oh I hope it comes up with a good one for me.
Eric: Oooooh, you're gonna like this.
Jeff: (Laughter)
Eric: 'Of Wolf and Man,' I hate that these have to represent me--
Jeff: (Laughter)
Eric: 'Of Wolf and Man' by Metallica, off the Black Album.
Jeff: (Laughter)
Eric: Now this is actually, okay, this is interesting--
Jeff: Because it is, in fairness, and I'm saying this on the record just so I have to write it down later, this is so not you.
Eric: I know, exactly. But here, this actually is interesting. I will talk about this. So I have a very interesting relationship with the band Metallica. This is a band that I came full circle on. Or, I still haven't come full circle on, I'm working at it - I'm going to group sessions to try to figure it out. But, when Metallica first came out I hated it. I told everybody how awful it is. This is a running theme, the Replacements too, although I fucking love the Replacements now. And this album in particular, the Black Album, I once said was the worst album to come out of the nineties.
Jeff: Wow. That's--Wow, that's a strong--
Eric: It's a tall claim.
Jeff: --statement.
Eric: But this was back in the day when the only people who lisitened to this album were the behind the scenes crew at theatre productions, and (Laughter) I thought it was just fucking noisy cock-rock. And now, I - actually, after a long time, it started to grow on me a little bit, I started to get nostalgic for it a little bit - 'Enter Sandman,' 'The Unforgiven,' and all the, you know, angels and fairies and all the crap that comes with it.
Jeff: (Laughter)
Eric: I don't know why heavy metal artists like to sing about the gayest shit on earth, but they seem to--
Jeff: Because they are all Dungeons and Dragons people.
Eric: Right, (Laughter) and I ended up buying this album a year ago, I never owned it--
Jeff: You bought this, you bought this in 2007?
Eric: Yup.
Jeff: That is weird. That is weird.
Eric: Yeah, so I finally--
Jeff: I mean, not because I think it's so horrible or anything, but it's odd that it would be in your consciousness at all.
Eric: I'd been thinking about it for a long time. And actually, the reason I bought it was because of my girlfriend, Stacey, who I believe is a closet metalhead, although she won't admit it.
Jeff: Well there is, there's an overlap there between the kind of closet gothiness and the closet--
Eric: Yeah, she really liked Metallica back in the day, but she won't admit it. I bought it when we had a trip to Palm Springs . . .
Jeff: Because nothing says Metallica like Palm Springs.
Eric: And we ended up listening to it the entire time, so it will always remind me of--
Jeff: Of Palm Springs? (Laughter) Ah, Bob Hope would be proud.
Eric: Which is good, because then, that's better than it reminding me of that fat kid who used to, you know, pull up the backdrop in high school plays.
Jeff: (Laughter) So I'm gonna give you one last thing, which is that I'm going to give you an alternate. What do wish had popped up that didn't?
Eric: Oh come on. There're a million things. All right. I wish that, uh, I'm trying to think of something really obscure (Laughter).
Jeff: (Laughter) which says more about you than whatever you're gonna actually say.
Eric: Right. (Laughter) I wish that . . . uh . . . let me think, just gimme a second. Since I totally blew it with what actually came up I gotta think of a really good one. Uhhh, I'm trying to think of the most obscure song I can think of. Okay, I wish that 'Vaccum Boots' by the Brian Jonestown Massacre had come up.
Jeff: (Laughter) Did you just scan through your whole iPod trying to find that?
Eric: (Laughter) Yeah. I am just trying to find something obscure and to look cooler than you.
END.
This week's subject is my friend Eric.
His first remark is in response to the magic voice that announces that the phone call is being recorded.
Eric: Hey, look at that, it tells me.
Jeff: Yeah, that's because it could be illegal to record you without you knowing in some states.
Eric: It didn't tell me earlier, the last time.
Jeff: That's because I started the recording before you picked up the phone.
Eric: So there's a way around it. I see. All right, you ready?
Jeff: Yeah. I guess the first thing to do is you put your iPod on shuffle - well, do you have your iPod in front of you?
Eric: Yes, I do.
Jeff: Okay, let's go; let's see what the first one is.
Eric: First song? It's doing it. It's thinking. It's a very slow thinker, my iPod.
Jeff: It's trying very hard to come up with something embarrassing.
Eric: Okay, this is 'Deja Vu' by Crosby Stills Nash & Young.
Jeff: (Laughter)
Eric: All right. So, then . . .
Jeff: Hold on, so now, while you let that play for a moment, I dunno, justify that. Extol its virtues.
Eric: Well, I mean, I can't listen to it because I'm not in the car, but my guess is that it's skipping uncontrolably because I - this was one of the first CDs I ever owned.
Jeff: When would that have been?
Eric: That would have been in the early nineties. Because Crosby Stills & Nash was the first concert I ever went to--
Jeff: Really?
Eric: --and the first backstage.
Jeff: Really? You went backstage at the first concert you ever went to?
Eric: Yup, my parents bought that for me.
Jeff: Where was this?
Eric: This was up at Deer Valley.
Jeff: Did you meet any of them?
Eric: I got to meet Crosby and Stills, and Stills gave me his pick, and I still have it.
Jeff: Is that true?
Eric: Yeah, it's true.
Jeff: Do you use it when you play guitar?
Eric: No, no. It's just sitting in a box.
Jeff: I mean, I wouldn't put it in your mouth or anything when you're tuning the guitar, but it's cool to have. I guess.
Eric: I also have a guitar pick from Earl Slick from my fucking Rock Camp days.
Jeff: (Laughter) I forgot about Rock Camp. That's great. See, if you had your own blog I would really advise you to write about Rock Camp.
Eric: (Laughter) So this comes from that. And it skips uncontrolably, so I can't really listen to it. The only reason I imported it was because it was one of the first CDs I ever had.
Jeff: So it has only sentimental value.
Eric: Yeah, it has only sentimental value. And it does nothing but upset me.
Jeff: (Laughter)
Eric: In fact, I'm looking at it right now and it's just stopped - at a minute-thirty. It's not going anywhere.
Jeff: (Laughter) Great. Okay, so skip ahead. let's go to the next one.
Eric: Okay. Next one. Allright. It's really going through some great ones now. 'Rapper's Delight' by the Sugarhill Gang.
Jeff: (Laughter)
Eric: You know, it's like, usually my shuffle I can trust, but this time not so much.
Jeff: (Laughter) So muse for me about 'Rapper's Delight.' Is that the only Sugarhill Gang song you have?
Eric: No. I also have, uh, 'Showdown.' All right, so 'Rapper's Delight'--
Jeff: Correct me if I'm wrong but you, at one point, could do the whole song.
Eric: Yeah, I could. Look, I don't really know what to say about 'Rapper's Delight' that hasn't been said by elderly women in the Wedding Singer already.
Jeff: (Laughter) All right, fair enough. I think you've covered that. Okay, skip ahead. What've you got?
Eric: Get to the next one. Okay, we've got 'Torture', by the Replacements off All Shook Down. Finally a song worth talking about, although not my favorite off that album. So, uh . . .
Jeff: I don't think I have that album even.
Eric: Actually, the Replacements were introduced to me by you.
Jeff: Is that true?
Eric: Yeah, yeah. You played something off--
Jeff: Something off--
Eric: Let it Be.
Jeff: Yeah, I was gonna say: something off Let it Be, yeah.
Eric: Yeah, Let it Be. And my first reaction was, uh, you played - God, what'd you play?
Jeff: I dunno.
Eric: You played one song that reminded me of 'Ooh That Smell,' and I got very upset.
Jeff: (Laughter) That's what hooked you. 'Ooh That Smell.'
Eric: "Ooh That Smell."
Jeff: "The smell of what's around you."
Eric: Is that Foreigner?
Jeff: Who sings that song? No, no.
Eric: What song am I thinking of, off Let it Be? I can't remember. But anyway, so that was my first impression. So I immediately--
Jeff: And you immediately wanted it.
Eric: And then (Laughter), and then I listened to the first track off Let it Be, what's it called?
Jeff: Um, 'I Will Dare'? Is that what it's called?
Eric: 'I Will Dare.' Yeah. 'I Will Dare,' which is one of my favorite songs now.
Jeff: It is a great song, yeah.
Eric: And I decided to buy all the Replacements albums and this last one was, I believe it was the last official Replacements album and one of their best, I think it's a great--
Jeff: Really? I don't even have that one. Maybe I should buy it.
Eric: It's great, so . . .
Jeff: All right. So skip ahead. What have you got next?
Eric: So four, 'The Gash' by the Flaming Lips off the Soft Bulletin. To be honest with you, I don't know what 'The Gash' - I mean I know that album, but I only listen to it as an album so I'm not sure which song 'The Gash' is.
Jeff: Yeah, to tell you the truth, I don't remember what song that might be either and I've, you know, I've listened to that album a mess of times.
Eric: I don't even know what to say about that. Okay, so the Soft Bulletin is a great progressive rock-bullshit-pretentious-idiot (Laughter) for a bunch of hippies and all that shit, but it's great.
Jeff: (Laughter) Okay. All right. Fair enough. Last one, here we go.
Eric: All right, last song.
Jeff: Oh I hope it comes up with a good one for me.
Eric: Oooooh, you're gonna like this.
Jeff: (Laughter)
Eric: 'Of Wolf and Man,' I hate that these have to represent me--
Jeff: (Laughter)
Eric: 'Of Wolf and Man' by Metallica, off the Black Album.
Jeff: (Laughter)
Eric: Now this is actually, okay, this is interesting--
Jeff: Because it is, in fairness, and I'm saying this on the record just so I have to write it down later, this is so not you.
Eric: I know, exactly. But here, this actually is interesting. I will talk about this. So I have a very interesting relationship with the band Metallica. This is a band that I came full circle on. Or, I still haven't come full circle on, I'm working at it - I'm going to group sessions to try to figure it out. But, when Metallica first came out I hated it. I told everybody how awful it is. This is a running theme, the Replacements too, although I fucking love the Replacements now. And this album in particular, the Black Album, I once said was the worst album to come out of the nineties.
Jeff: Wow. That's--Wow, that's a strong--
Eric: It's a tall claim.
Jeff: --statement.
Eric: But this was back in the day when the only people who lisitened to this album were the behind the scenes crew at theatre productions, and (Laughter) I thought it was just fucking noisy cock-rock. And now, I - actually, after a long time, it started to grow on me a little bit, I started to get nostalgic for it a little bit - 'Enter Sandman,' 'The Unforgiven,' and all the, you know, angels and fairies and all the crap that comes with it.
Jeff: (Laughter)
Eric: I don't know why heavy metal artists like to sing about the gayest shit on earth, but they seem to--
Jeff: Because they are all Dungeons and Dragons people.
Eric: Right, (Laughter) and I ended up buying this album a year ago, I never owned it--
Jeff: You bought this, you bought this in 2007?
Eric: Yup.
Jeff: That is weird. That is weird.
Eric: Yeah, so I finally--
Jeff: I mean, not because I think it's so horrible or anything, but it's odd that it would be in your consciousness at all.
Eric: I'd been thinking about it for a long time. And actually, the reason I bought it was because of my girlfriend, Stacey, who I believe is a closet metalhead, although she won't admit it.
Jeff: Well there is, there's an overlap there between the kind of closet gothiness and the closet--
Eric: Yeah, she really liked Metallica back in the day, but she won't admit it. I bought it when we had a trip to Palm Springs . . .
Jeff: Because nothing says Metallica like Palm Springs.
Eric: And we ended up listening to it the entire time, so it will always remind me of--
Jeff: Of Palm Springs? (Laughter) Ah, Bob Hope would be proud.
Eric: Which is good, because then, that's better than it reminding me of that fat kid who used to, you know, pull up the backdrop in high school plays.
Jeff: (Laughter) So I'm gonna give you one last thing, which is that I'm going to give you an alternate. What do wish had popped up that didn't?
Eric: Oh come on. There're a million things. All right. I wish that, uh, I'm trying to think of something really obscure (Laughter).
Jeff: (Laughter) which says more about you than whatever you're gonna actually say.
Eric: Right. (Laughter) I wish that . . . uh . . . let me think, just gimme a second. Since I totally blew it with what actually came up I gotta think of a really good one. Uhhh, I'm trying to think of the most obscure song I can think of. Okay, I wish that 'Vaccum Boots' by the Brian Jonestown Massacre had come up.
Jeff: (Laughter) Did you just scan through your whole iPod trying to find that?
Eric: (Laughter) Yeah. I am just trying to find something obscure and to look cooler than you.
END.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Cover Girl
2008 was the year Chan Marshall went absolutely silly for loping and shuffling through soul-inspired covers of (mostly) classic songs, all to sometimes middling and sometimes stirring effect.
There was her album, Jukebox, that has moments of real transcendence, where you find yourself thrilling to that voice pour itself all over a song like brandy.
There were the seemingly ubiquitous advertisements that taunted us with snippets of Cat Powered versions of Cat Stevens (clever, that),
David Bowie,
and The Nerves (via Blondie).
And then, finally, bookending the year, was her latest EP, The Dark End of the Street.
It's a slow, bluesy, and rather somber affair, more pleasant than interesting or novel. The song choices are neither too obscure, nor too easy (with the possible exception of the Otis Redding number 'I've Been Loving You Too Long (To Stop Now)' which doesn't benefit any from Chan's trademark slow-it-down-and-do-it-sultry approach, having already been a rather slow, sultry number), but mostly they just don't provide enough distance from their originals to engage or enough variation between themselves to remind you when one has ended and the next begun.
I like it. I like Cat Power. I think she is one of best cover artists working. I never really get tired of hearing a lively song slowed way down and bathed in smoke and sex and two in the morningness.
However, I think the EP would have been something truly special, and more listenable to boot, if she had found a way to include those covers used to such effect in those advertisements.
A little Bowie goes a long way, and I don't know at all that I prefer Blondie's rendition of 'Hanging on the Telephone' to the thirty seconds of Cat Power's we've heard. What I feel sure of is that the tempo and novelty of those covers-for-hire would have given better shape to Dark End of the Street and would have given oomph to a casual spin of the album.
Here's hoping those ads aren't the last we see (hear) of those songs and that Dark End of the Street doesn't just get buried in my rotation.
There was her album, Jukebox, that has moments of real transcendence, where you find yourself thrilling to that voice pour itself all over a song like brandy.
There were the seemingly ubiquitous advertisements that taunted us with snippets of Cat Powered versions of Cat Stevens (clever, that),
David Bowie,
and The Nerves (via Blondie).
And then, finally, bookending the year, was her latest EP, The Dark End of the Street.
It's a slow, bluesy, and rather somber affair, more pleasant than interesting or novel. The song choices are neither too obscure, nor too easy (with the possible exception of the Otis Redding number 'I've Been Loving You Too Long (To Stop Now)' which doesn't benefit any from Chan's trademark slow-it-down-and-do-it-sultry approach, having already been a rather slow, sultry number), but mostly they just don't provide enough distance from their originals to engage or enough variation between themselves to remind you when one has ended and the next begun.
I like it. I like Cat Power. I think she is one of best cover artists working. I never really get tired of hearing a lively song slowed way down and bathed in smoke and sex and two in the morningness.
However, I think the EP would have been something truly special, and more listenable to boot, if she had found a way to include those covers used to such effect in those advertisements.
A little Bowie goes a long way, and I don't know at all that I prefer Blondie's rendition of 'Hanging on the Telephone' to the thirty seconds of Cat Power's we've heard. What I feel sure of is that the tempo and novelty of those covers-for-hire would have given better shape to Dark End of the Street and would have given oomph to a casual spin of the album.
Here's hoping those ads aren't the last we see (hear) of those songs and that Dark End of the Street doesn't just get buried in my rotation.
A Dollop of Something Else
I'm at a walk-in clinic yesterday and I'm checking myself in. The girl behind the counter is entering my information into the computer and I'm just sort of standing there, handling the tchotchkes scattered around the counter top. Also on the counter, next to an industrial size box of facemasks (sinister), is an industrial size bottle of hand sanitizer.
This reminds me of a vignette from Barack Obama's book where he describes the first time he met George Bush. This was just after Obama had been elected to the senate and he was invited to the White House to meet the president. So he goes and Bush is there to greet him outside the White House. They shake hands. Immediately after they shake hands, and without so much as a word or a glance to anyone nearby, Bush reaches out his right hand to an aide and the aide squirts a big dollop of hand sanitizer into the president's hand. He rubs it all in with his other hand and then invites Obama in.
This is a really rather funny little story about Bush. (Why couldn't he just keep his paw out of his mouth for the next twenty minutes and then use the sanitizer after Obama left the room?) How was I to know I was telling it to a Palin-kateer?
It really isn't funny enough to relate in great detail, but suffice it to tell that the conversation took an odd turn. Governer Blogejevich was mentioned and the phrase "shows who Obama associates with" slithered across the counter at me. Forget that the two men hate one another or that Obama's people are the ones who got the feds on the case when they found out what Blagojevich was up to. Forget all that.
I just wanted to tell a funny little story about Bush and hand sanitizer. Was I mad to expect that one could tell such a story to an attractive young woman who sits behind a giant bottle of the stuff every day?
This reminds me of a vignette from Barack Obama's book where he describes the first time he met George Bush. This was just after Obama had been elected to the senate and he was invited to the White House to meet the president. So he goes and Bush is there to greet him outside the White House. They shake hands. Immediately after they shake hands, and without so much as a word or a glance to anyone nearby, Bush reaches out his right hand to an aide and the aide squirts a big dollop of hand sanitizer into the president's hand. He rubs it all in with his other hand and then invites Obama in.
This is a really rather funny little story about Bush. (Why couldn't he just keep his paw out of his mouth for the next twenty minutes and then use the sanitizer after Obama left the room?) How was I to know I was telling it to a Palin-kateer?
It really isn't funny enough to relate in great detail, but suffice it to tell that the conversation took an odd turn. Governer Blogejevich was mentioned and the phrase "shows who Obama associates with" slithered across the counter at me. Forget that the two men hate one another or that Obama's people are the ones who got the feds on the case when they found out what Blagojevich was up to. Forget all that.
I just wanted to tell a funny little story about Bush and hand sanitizer. Was I mad to expect that one could tell such a story to an attractive young woman who sits behind a giant bottle of the stuff every day?
Saturday, December 6, 2008
Thursday, December 4, 2008
The Giant Bee
This would have been sometime in 1999 or 2000. I was living in a little apartment in and going to school. I didn't take drugs.
The sound was as clear as could be: scrabbling, as of insect legs on the pillow, next to one's ear.
I was awake and on the other side of the room almost instantaneously, with no intermediate steps between. I flipped on the lightswitch.
On the pillow was a monstrous bee.
It was the size of a nerf football, hairy, its chitinous body glistening. It moved back and forth and up the pillow in the herky-jerky manner of bees and, cresting the top, crawled behind into the space between pillow and headboard.
I knew I was hallucinating. Of course I knew it. But I didn't only see the gigantic bee; I could hear it. When it moved its segmented legs on the fabric I could hear the rustling and when it agitated its wings now and again, as it did absentmindedly, I could hear the sound of its buzz emanating from its vibrating thorax.
I stood there, on the far side of the room, my hands on my head, for a long moment, breathing raggedly. I was panicking.
What did I eat today? Did anyone give me anything? What was the year? Who was the president? What is the fourteenth letter of the alphabet?
Had I been drugged? Was I having some kind of seizure?
I went into the kitchen and paced furiously. I knew there was no bee. But why didn't my eyes and ears know it? I poured myself a glass of lemonade and tried to calm down. I looked at the clock on the microwave. It was past four in the morning.
I went cautiously back to my bed. Did I check behind the pillow?
I did.
I have never seen the bee or any other nocturnal vision again.
I have wiled away hours on the internet trying to explain the experience. I often wonder if I had hallucinated another kind of animal if the whole episode would have qualified as a religious experience. Would the giant bee be my spirit animal? What if, god help me, I had hallucinated a person? What would I have thought, then?
The only thing I ever came up with was that, apparently, it is quite common for people to have audio-visual hallucinations just before falling asleep, all the while knowing full well that they are hallucinating. These are called hypnogogic hallucinations and are related to another strange nighttime phenomenon, the feeling of being paralyzed while asleep.
However, what I seem to have experienced is an even rarer form of the same sort of thing. Called hypnopompic hallucinations, they occur upon waking up and are basically the artifact of a brain still caught in a dream even after it has woken up.
Nowhere, however, have I read of anyone seeing giant bees.
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
She's a Debutante
Once, while laying in bed at night, Chiara and I got to talking about our friend Joe being in the Army.
"How crazy is it," I said, "that Joe, the mellowest person I ever met, knows how to kill a man?"
"Well," said Chiara after a moment's pause, "it isn't hard."
"C'mon, are you kidding me? Not hard to take another man's life?"
Chiara propped herself up onto one elbow, facing me. I could only see the outline of her against the window in the dark.
"It's not hard to keel a man," she said flatly, "I just wait til you are asleep, I get a sharp knife, and I skkkttt."
She drew her fingernail across my throat slowly, then she plopped back down onto her back and said good night.
I lay a long while in the dark, not feeling very sleepy.
Saturday, August 30, 2008
After Basho
Catty-corner to the supermarket is a house that has been under remodel for years.
At some point (on purpose?) all of the trees and shrubbery in the front and side yards were burned down to the soil and today there is still this menacing little forest of burnt and blackened wooden fingers ringing the home.
It could be the Baba Yaga’s hut but for the all-too mundane flotsam scattered here and there on the property: here a used gillete razor, there a single sneaker (left foot), and on the driveway adjacent, a crumpled and water-logged Star magazine (Lisa Marie Presley - pregnant!).
In any case, I walk past it whenever I walk to the supermarket.
Today, on the sidewalk alongside the house, scrawled in charcoal from one of the skeletal burnt treebranches, in a rounded and feminine hand, I found a haiku:
A cloudless sky
An old sun
and some lavender
I smiled to see it and continued back to my house with my dry cleaning (thirty dollars?!).
When I got home, I went to my book of haiku and then to the net to see if this was some transcription, maybe by a zealous student of literature. I didn’t find anything and decided it must have been an original composition. Literary urban graffiti.
Charmed, I left the house and walked back to the haiku corner determined to leave one of my own.
I found a good sized chunk of charred wood and set to scratching my little poem on the concrete. I felt exposed and pretentious and altogether unhappy with the whole project, but I did it.
It is supposed to rain tomorrow, but, for the time being, you can find my haiku, and the mysterious girl’s as well, on the northeast corner of F street and 6th Avenue.
My haiku:
A poet’s words
Quick motions of the wrist
Tomorrow the rain
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Hard to Swallow
Got to talking about how, when we were in school, Nathan and I used to eat lunch together. He would eat a sandwich or something with maybe chips or a piece of fruit. Sometimes I guess he’d have a cookie or a cupcake. It used to drive me nuts because he didn’t drink while he ate. He would eat all sorts of foods and take no fluids for the whole hour. I would remark on it pretty much every day.
"How come you never drink anything?" I’d ask.
"I don’t need it" he’d reply.
I thought that was just bizarre. I used to bring people around to watch him eat things without drinking anything: Bags of peanut butter; chocolate bars; sawdust on dry toast.
My mom once told me how, when she was a girl, her parents used to take her over to have dinner at some friend’s house once in a while and no one was allowed to drink at the table in their house. They’d sit there, the whole family, eating chicken or something, and no one was allowed to have a drink.
There weren’t even glasses on the table.
I imagined it as just this long, wheezy, coughy, sticky-mouthed torture hour. I asked my mom why they weren’t allowed to drink and my mom said she thought it had something to do with the parent’s thinking the kids would fill up on liquids and then not eat their dinner.
I’ve never heard of that in people, but once I read how dolphins, because they don’t drink and get all their moisture from the food they eat, can’t distinguish between the sensations of thirst and hunger. So, sometimes, in captivity, they’ll spray a hose into the dolphin’s mouth and it won’t eat for a day or two because it thinks it is full. But I understand the dolphin’s point of view.
Hose water just tastes better.
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